In continuation to the previous post – Don’t marry! Be happy! ( Line from a famous Telugu movie starring Nagarjuna).
Well, as I have already stated and made my stand very very clear – don’t ever rush into this whole thing called marriage. These seven pheras, take less than seven minutes to be done, but binds you for seven lives.( okay, at least for this one life, you are bound for life!).
The big fat Indian wedding is a major event in our culture, and I don’t have the numbers, but am sure it is one of the biggest economy driving events in the country. Just imagine the sheer amount of crazy money spent on these do’s.
Parents start thinking of it right since their bear a child, girls plan it once they
turn 15 (Even Barbie dolls in indian bridal wear is hit), Films and TV make crores and some more crores out of this one saga – -Indian Marriage (Sooraj Barjatya is still counting his crores!).
Coming to the core of the issue, why do you want to get married? I don’t really have an answer, and have not got a convincing one yet. Here I tell you, why you should not get married –
Expenses
It tires me to see that finance guys are the first ones to get married. Guys, now you should be the first ones to know that your expenses shoot up like crazy once you get married. That black sedan you have been eying since long, will now be a longer dream, or even convert to a normal hatchback reality.
I remember a friend of mine, a girl who recently got married, often saying this – “ After marriage the girls income doubles and the guy’s halves!” Nothing could be truer.
Okay, I know the dowry system in india works to bypass this negative, but well that is a one time payment! Fin guys, you should know this.
Compromise
“Hey dude lets go out to the sports bar today after office to catch up with the ManU match”. I dare not ask this question to a married guy with the fear of being a “jalan par namak chidana”.
Compromise, as it is defined, is an agreement reached by mutual adjustment and it is impossible to make a marriage work without it. Remember, “Haan maine compromise kiya.. lekin compromise kaun nahi karta?” That is the reality!
You like Chinese, she likes continental. Compromise. You like Comedy movies, she likes drama? Compromise. Even the remote control to your own 42” LED TV would become a matter of compromise.
Adventurous
I happened to meet Akshay Kumar in a Company event yesterday, and a member from the audience very openly asked him – “pehle to theek hai, lekin abhi shaadi aur bache ke baad how do you convince them to agree on your stunts?”. No Answer!
What? You want to drive down to Nandi hills in the middle of the night after being decently drunk? Go get a divorce lawyer first.
Friends
Again, Sorry. Your weekends will all be spent with your wifey, not leaving anytime for a beer binge. On Friday evenings, you would just have to whine at your home and watch TV, while the luckier ones get to drink and play poker all night!
And well, even if you are able to convince your “better half” of the evening out with friends, be prepared to lose all your money in poker talking on the phone – “yes baby. Will not drink much baby. Will sure get the bread and eggs on the way back!”. So much, that you stand the risk of not being invited again from the next weekend onwards.
Hous
ework
Socks lying here and there, and the underwear on the fridge. Get them out immediately dude, you are now married, living with someone who thinks they are the most civilized people on the planet!
Cleaning, washing, cooking, shopping, dusting – all of these become part of your normal life, and in all probability would find way in your weekend timetable!
Guests
Wife’s third cousin is in town? You have to host him, and be nice to him. Treat him with all the niceties, and most importantly spend time with him.
Even your relatives would start expecting that you now behave like a family man, and host people in a similar way.
Explanations
You got of your hometown after engineering so that you would not have to explain that late night out and the beer, and now you want to again invite the same discipline back on your head? All the best!
And well, the most important reason to not get married to seek happiness – it does not last forever. Even sex starts feeling like bland curry. Diamonds do last forever.
Disclaimer: These two posts have been written with a funny vein, and I have nothing against marriage. I strongly believe in it, and as they say, the views expressed above are purely blogsake, and I don’t endorse them at all. Don’t sue me!