>Of Chocolates, votes and Nano

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Life has got back to the normal human being timings, and I am finding it hard to get back to normalcy. Two years of MBA does change a person a lot. I have been home from since two odd weeks, and have literally done nothing. In spite of my ideas and various desires, I have managed to be too lazy to initiate any of the plans I had meticulously discussed and bored my friends with.

I turned 24 on Sunday, the 5^th of april. Shhh! I am not all that old, that is just the biological sign – the “how old are you” quiz on facebook has declared me a lot younger than that. Mom had planned a langar at the gurudwara, and I was busy in the nitty gritties of organizing it, the whole of last week. Sunday turned out to be a good day, and I even adorned the Lucknowi kurta pyzama I had bought from Lucknow. My brother commented that I looked more like a politician than a chocolate seller wearing that. Chocolate seller – that is how I would be referred to in a few months, and am already seen as one even now. For those who try staying away from this pleasure of chocolate munching due to calorie consciousness, and don’t allow me my Lamborghinis, please jump into the fray.

Finally, chocolate is no longer a guilty pleasure. Le Whif, which just launched yesterday, combines chocolate and aerosol science with their zero calorie chocolate inhalers.

Beginning in the spring of 2008 as part of a culinary art experiment executed by Harvard professor David Edwards and his students, the innovative concept moves “eating habits to their logical conclusion.” While we’ve yet to actually try the chocolate, we’re sure this will spark a new culinary craze and lead to even more gastronomic experiments.

There are these new chocolate inhalers which would enhance your mood curves, while ensuring that it does not increase your curves at the wrong places. Anyways, moving from chocolates to elections – maybe I should give this alternate profession a serious try. What with so many well educated people jumping in the bandwagon. Now, I sincerely hope India is steered ahead to a glorious future under the able aegis of these talented people.

Talking of election, cases of giving incentives – mainly cash and alcohol for votes has dominated the newspapers for the last few weeks. There were reports of huge cash being found in cars, alcohol being distributed to lure the innocent voters, and even bus tickets being given to the junta for their travel to the meeting venue. This news report from Bangalore beats them all – distributing VIAGRA for votes.

Politics in Thailand and buying votes are nothing new, but creative ways to garner favor among the populace is a challenge for even the most resourceful candidates.

In lieu of cash, one Bangkok candidate in a recent election allegedly handed out Viagra tablets.

Wow! Now this is what I call thinking out of the box. What do animals need the most? Sex? Give them that, and they are on your side. This snippet which once again proves the importance we give to the libido – “In cricket, guards were first used in 1874, and head helmets were used for the first time in 1974. It took 100 years for people to realize that brains are also important.”

I have been commuting the streets of Vizag on my dad’s active. I should say, for every trip anywhere, I have to compulsorily make a trip to the mechanic shop which the bike so loves. It always forces me at odd hours to pay him a visit. For example, a couple of days back Baka had come down from Lucknow. On his way to his home place – aruku, he halted here for a night. We hanged out in the evening, ate Biryani in the night, and then after watching a movie till 3AM, I had to drop him to the bus station at 4AM.

We set out on my active, and with lots of difficulty reached the bus stand fine. On my way back, the accelerator wire just got snapped. I tries all m y mechanical brains to fix it back or atleast set it for a make use to reach home – but no avail. It was 4:30AM in the morning, and I was at a a calm residential area. There was no chance of any public transport in the vicinity, and my home was still 2KM far away.

I called up my brother who, very sweetly, did agree to come down to pick me up at this unearthly hour. I stand there in the residential area trying to look away from the street dogs who stare very dangerously at me. I get a call from him. “Dude, I am all ready to come, but you have locked the door from outside, and the keys are with you!” my brother says. Oh my Gawd! Now I can’t help it. My brother does not have the spiderman powers to glide down the second floor. I have no other option but to leave the bike there in the open, or to push it through for the 2KM, and drag it home. I preferred the latter option for its safety. This shows how much I love the active, but the infidel that it is – it loves the mechanic shop more than me.

I adhered to its demands, and took it to the mechanic shop first thing in the morning, and also paid 100 rupees for its courtship. It worked well, and listened to me obediently, for one day, but made the desire for another date the next day itself. I again had to bend down to its demands – what other option do I have?

Yes, it is old and does require companionship at this age. But well, I am in no way interested to be its escort every time. So, I am planning to sell it off to someone who would be more than happy to foster its courtship. At the same time, I do need a personal mode of transport. What do I go for? The newly launched NANO??

Should say, Ratan Tata and his team have proven to be the best marketers of the year by generating the maximum interest in this vehicle and making NANO a word of common parlance before even launching it. Unfortunately, the Nano would hit the roads only after july and for this part of the country it sure would take much more time. I rather go for a second hand “nameless car” – The Maruti 800. Or, as dad suggests, stick again to the good old Activa – maybe a new one!!!

p.s.: Will AIRTEL please realize that I no more reside in UP, and I am not interested in its “Namaskar, airtel aapke liye laye hai… “Dude, I am on roaming and even these pre recorded tele marketing calls are being charged. DNC registry!!!