BRAToSPHERE

Tag: india

  • Intimidating Choices

    What do you do on a lazy sunday morning? Read the newspapers? Generally chill around? Go for a run? Play Badminton? Work out?

    So many options right?

    And still most of us are confused and bored and don’t understand what to do. We just while away our time, watching TV on mute (yes, that is what i do!), looking at the garden repeatedly deciding if it needs watering, aimless walking through the house looking if something needs repair and mentally making a note that some things really do, opening up amazon.in looking if you need something or just aimless lounging in the sofa. Not content, still.

    This is the trouble of choices. I was recently having this conversation with a colleague on how we Indians do not really appreciate choices, or probably we feel intimidated with them. Like in a restaurant, a typical middle class man would be baffled with the choices on offer.

    “Can you please get me a coffee?”, the man would ask rather thoughtless.

    “Sure Sir. Cappuccino, latte or Expresso?”, the over enthusiastic waiter would question.

    “Ah! Ahem.. the first one should do”, replied the man totally zapped and feeling like an engineering student being grilled during his VIVA.

    “Cappucino is a wonderful choice sir. So, would you like some cream on top”, the enthu cutlet pops again.

    The man is now completely intimidated and just replies, “Ah.. ah.. yes. cream. yes..”

    “And how many spoons of sugar do you like in your cup of whipped cream layered Cappuccino sir?”

    Whip.. what? I ordered for coffee. The man thinks. But with an ego filled mind and not wanting to look like an ignorant bumpkin just mutters, “Ah! one spoon.. one spoon sugar”

    “And would you like some cookies to go along with it sir. Or may be some grilled sandwich?”

    Done. The man blows his mental fuse. “COFFEEEEEE. HOW DIFFICULT IS IT ORDER JUST A CUP OF PLAIN COFFEE?”, the man thunders out of the restaurant with everyone staring at the outburst.

    But well, that is the predicament we live in. Being brought in up a pre liberalised era, we are not aware of choices. It was the era of rationing and we would be happy with the little something that would be doled out in terms of food, oil, whatever..

    We were content with the single white modern bread that we religiously ate every weekend for years and years. We didn’t know about the plethora of Brown, multii grain, oats, rye filled and the other seeming innocuous loafs sitting in the bread aisle. No!

    A news article reminded me again of this “i don’t like choices” attitude. Parents are apparently confused which nursery school to put their child in, as there are so many options around. Each with varied facility and different board affiliations – CBSE, ICSE, IB,etc. and different age groups for eligibility – three, three and a half, three years 4 months 6 days.. Options! Options again lead to intimidation and confusion.

    What was the choice during our times? The sole English medium school near our house which fit our budget. Choices bring in confusion for the normal indian and it would be a generation to be comfortable with all the chaos!

    So yes, till then it is going to be difficult to order a coffee, unless of course you are in the good old India Coffee House.

  • Pandeymonium – Book Review

    What name comes to the mind when someone mentions Indian Advertising? Piyush Pandey. The award winning head of Ogilvy and Mather and now the recipient of the PadmaShri, Piyushhas proven again and again that he is the go-to person for ideas and fresh thinking.

    The book begins with a song, in a typical piyush style, and starts right from his early school days in a hilly northern indian place to his rise in the advertising world. The book talks about his roots, how these roots helped him develop the wings and his eventual rise.

    The book is written by Anant Rangaswami and in the very beginning it is mentioned how after a lot of convincing and a couple of weeks of solitude in Goa, the book turned into reality.

    The narration of the book is simple and makes the reader feel like he himself is there in the scene as a mute spectator. The events come out live and being from the same industry, most of the situations elaborated here are pretty everyday scenario’s.

    One quality of Piyush that stands out throughout the book is his candid confession again and again that most of his ideas are directly lifted from the happenings around him. Be it his wife Nita, or his father for the fevicol ad. Makes one think that every small incident that has ever occurred in our lives probably comes back in some way given that we retrieve it from our memory at the right time.

    Though touched in a short chapter, the section on the importance of research in creating advertising excited me the most. Piyush hits the cat’s bell when he says, “If you ask stupid questions, you would get stupid answers” pertaining to consumer research. At the same time, without brandishing research at all, he reiterates its importance but stresses on the need to evolve the methods. I am sure many readers would wish there was more on this here.

    Also, Piyush has been known in the industry for this, and the book only proves it again – give credit where due. Right through the book there are references to countless people for each of the campaign that shows the right team spirit expected from a leader.

    There are places in the book where it feels like a PR machine for O&M, the agency that Piyush has been associated with forever. Also, somewhere the entire book feels like an acknowledgement section or a literal version of an awards acceptance speech. I guess with multiple decades of work being described in a book, such pitfalls tend to become unavoidable.

    Overall, the book is like a face to face interaction with the man himself and is a must read for anyone with the faintest interest in advertising in India.

  • Why are we like this?

    Let us accept it. We stay in a very Hippocratic society. No matter how much we show off as accepting the new norms of living, and acting cool to be comfortable with western “fads” like live-in relationships, inter caste marriages, etc.. we do not accept it. Period. We are like that only.

    The present generation might think we are all cool about it, but question yourself ( and here I am talking to those in their twenties, and facing this), how many of you would actually not turn out to be like your uncles, who Is considered to be the biggest villain in your life right now.

    A typical setting in an Indian Sindhi family, and a big joint family, where the parents would plead their daughter that they are comfortable with her relationship with that Bengali guy, but..

    Mom: “Beta, we are very progressive, and we totally accept your relationship and your feeling for that Roy guy”

    The daughter is happy listening to this, very well knowing that this cannot be all this easy.

    “But..”, the mom starts after a brief pause.

    “Think about what your mama would think about us. Know what, yesterday, the bagal wali auntie was asking me about you and why you not getting married”

    “They would blame us directly that we could not raise you well, and we gave you too much freedom and thus failed as parents”

    The emotional monologue would continue for long, till you (the girl) get persuaded that you are the villain, and would be a black mark on the family. So, please avoid this situation. Point black. In much more many words.

    ‘Virginity is believed to be directly proportional to ones character’. This is how most of the soon-to-be-bestowed-upon-UID card holders treat it to be. And here comes the biggest component of the so called hypocrisy so very rampant in our country. On one side we have the women, who would like to protect “it” for their own prince charming, and on the other hand we have the males with their wild hormones who just can’t wait to get rid of this inferior looking V tag. The irony (or the so called hypocrisy) here is that these very men would want a bride with her hymen intact!

    This makes me wonder why even in the 21st century there is so much hypocrisy and double standards surrounding ‘physical intimacy’. After all, what does virginity have to do with character? Why can’t we just take physical intimacy the way it is – Physical intimacy and nothing more.

    And well, here the so called progressive Indians of tomorrow (the twenty something’s of today) are also to be blamed.

    This double standard is so ingrained in our brains, and was perfectly depicted in the situation that happened last Saturday night. I was on some association function, and was fully decked and dressed to attend this do. I was there on behalf of my uncle, who could not make it. It was attended by the entire association of the south india, so had to be in the best most-eligible-bachelor looks, on instructions from my Mom. “wear a suit. you look very good in it. There would be a lot of sindhi families coming over!”

    After the late night meet, I went ahead to meet a friend ( a girl), to make up for my absence all day. We were talking on the road, and walking in the street where she stays. After some time, the girl comes closer to my ear, and utters, “Don’t look back so obviously, but see the guy on the first floor in the third building on the right behind me?”

    “No”, I say non-chalantly.

    “Arrey, don’t look so obviously. There is a guy, who is trying to hide behind the towel hanging in the balcony and staring at us curiously”

    “Why? You know him?”, I again ask as if it was the most obvious question in the world.

    “Arrey, he is watching assuming something would happen. It is 2 in the night!”

    OKAY. So that is the reason, you cheap pervert there behind the towel. Can a guy and a girl not be just good friends, who happen to meeting at 2 in the night. And if something was bound to happen, I would not be standing here on the street. Speaks a lot about US Indians. The twenty something Indian, the future of the country.

    Needless to say, just to entice the behind-the-towel guy more, I did want to pose something (like this picture) and create an illusion allowing him to fulfill his high( I don’t know Why?), but alas, my friend preferred getting back to her place, and I had to go.

  • We are like that only!

    Now, with the new revamped blog, er! Sphere! I promise to blog more frequently, and what better way to start this off than ranting about the way we are. We Indians are!

    • A homemaker lady would  fight to save a few rupees arguing with the neighboring vegetable vendors over the price of a potato, or a tomato. At the same time, the same lady would also fight in restaurants, to pay. When she along with a group of friends go to a restaurant, after the routine regular shopping outings, each of the ladies would go for the bill vying to pay it.
    • Everything in our country takes just one minute, or so we are told. No matter when you give your vehicle for service, go back to the mechanic at the schedule pick up time, and he would be like, “one minute sir! Abhi ho jaega!”. No prizes for guessing, it would take atleast an hour more.
    • Remember storing all the small items at some place at your home.  Every Indian home has the huge space built atop the cupboards exactly for that. Everything that is plastic ( be it glasses, cups, or even plastic covers that come free after shopping in a super market), we store them religiously. At the same time, we try covering up everything possible in the same plastics. The table top, the TV, fridge, even the study table, everything needs to be covered up in some plastic cover.
    • Well, cricket is religion. The easiest way to start a conversation with somebody Indian is to discuss the highest number of runs scored by God! We do take cricket seriously. Infact, a bit too seriously, so much, that it is declared a holiday when there is a cricket match happening. Now you know why IPL was scheduled in the evening, IST. No, not for the convenience. More to avoid people getting fake stomach aches, and fake grandma’s from dying during the day!
    • One thing is taken even more seriously than cricket – MOVIES. This phenomena is much much more in the southern part of the country, where movies are a religion, and the actors, Gods. People die buying tickets for their idols first day morning show. Queues start two days in advance before the tickets start selling. And full length fights occur in case of anybody demeaning any star. Well, my engineering college was shut for a week, during my second year, just because someone had abused a popular( really!) actor by naming his Counter Strike avatar after the famous Balayya.
    • Inspite of the technology advancing so much, and electric rice cookers and microwaves becoming very much affordable by everyone, we still need pressure cookers. Well, along with the pressure cookers we better ensure that we also have smoke alarms!
    • Ever eaten in Andhra Pradesh. Okay, Andhra happens to be the chilli capital of the country, with red chillis being an important crop. That does not mean all food is substituted by red chillies. We inevitably end up eating more spice than food, and this is true across the country. Even more stranger is having more food than the plate can hold!

    Dosa
    Indian Dosa
    • One very important things that stands true is the ability( rather inability) to say NO. not many of can very easily say NO to anything. More peculiar about this is the way we say NO. We shake our head left and right. Well, we also say YES in the same way – Shake our head left and right!

    WE ARE LIKE THAT ONLY, and this has no bearing with Rama Bijapurkar!

    p.s.: this post is inspired from this video by trueroots WE ARE LIKE THAT ONLY!

  • >The Biggest Reality Show – Elections 2009

    >

    I sometimes wonder why the IPL is so famous, and what is the core reason for its success in becoming such a big brand with the first edition itself? It spurred “marriage between Bollywood and cricket”, now add politics to it and it becomes a bigger brand, and it would continue to draw more crowds.

    Trivia: Dhoni’s brother has joined politics, if you are searching for a recent link to politics and cricket.
    srk,Shilpa,lalit,preity
    Why? The Indian Junta is crazy only about these three – Movies, Cricket and politics. Mix them and you have a bestseller (idea for my 4th book!). So in such terms, this summer was perfect to lift up the spirits of the common Indian with a lot of entertainment available on news itself. The IPL, and the Indian Elections – Perfect match. Attempts to mix these two were futile, as each was worried about the others rising popularity, so much that the politicians or the authority concerned drove out the IPL to South Africa to set the stage free for the politicos.

    The irony here is that elections itself were blatantly given as the reason for shoving IPL off, and along with it, its revenue, to South Africa. The Slap on the back came when people realized that South Africa also was having their own elections, but was more than enthusiastic to accommodate IPL. (Why should it be called Indian PL anymore?). Considering the Security agencies incompetency, it would be no surprise if the 2015 republic day parade and the hoisting of the Indian Flag ceremony (is it allowed?) was held in London.

    Now getting to the elections 2009 – they have been very well timed, and have given lots of fun and fodder for talk during the past two months. The last two months were like the most jobless period I have ever been in, and thanks to IPL and Elections, I was not really very bored.

    This election was no less than a war, albeit in a different way than the neighboring Sri Lankans. The elections seemed like a full fledged movie, and I am sure there is a potential for at least a reality show on prime time covering all the politicos. Action, Drama, Emotions, Comedy, and loads of trauma are perfectly juxtaposed to give out the correct masala for the “breaking” news.

    Of course, the climax is still awaited and I am sure my brother is waiting even more for that coveted date – may 16th. It is his birthday, and last year he was gifted a sony Digicam. So, his anxiousness is justified.

    Now a complete summary of the happenings in the movie till now, like they say – “Ab tak, Kahani… mein ……“

    It all started off with the big weights – BJP and Congress. Advani’s blog, and subsequent online foray by everyone worth his salt, wrote a complete new chapter in the way a party or its candidate be promoted.

    The UPA faced its first confidence vote in the Lok Sabha, after the CPI (M) led Left Front withdrew support over India approaching the IAEA for the Indo-US civilian nuclear agreement. UPA won with a 19 vote record victory. The government winning the vote of confidence proved crucial, since this allowed Manmohan Singh, to finish his full term.

    The split of the communists from the ruling party led to considerable fourth estate space, with speculations rife if the government would stay or fall. However, the septuagarian Advani ji had long plans in hand and wanted to be in competition with complete preparation.

    Then, the inflation, which shook all the parties and everyone, made people forget about the nuclear deal, as this was hitting their pockets. All parties joined hands to control and also started blaming each other. The UPA had so many divine interventions, that sometimes it makes one wonder – were these events orchestrated by UPA itself? Inflation, Stock market sliding, Mumbai attacks, Malegaon …

    The soon to retire N Gopalaswami, chief election officer wanted to achieve some place in history, and so he announced the polling dates in five phases for the 15th Lok Sabha all over the country. 

    The competition was tight – UPA vs. NDA. Manmohan Singh vs. L.K. Advani

    Now the stage was set, the actors ready, and thus began the biggest reality show in India. The actors wanted to play it independently and the UPA was again disintegrated back to congress with very few alliances left with them. Same thing happened with NDA, leaving BJP alone.

    The biggest hit was in Andhra Pradesh (My Home State), when Mega Star Chiranjeevi launched his own party Praja Rajyam Party without joining any of the existing party. The veteran acting schools – Congress and TDP were shaken, as Chiru commanded a huge popularity and history could be repeated. (NTR, founder of TDP, entered politics in 1984 when his popularity as an actor was at its peak. The elections was a landslide victory for TDP then)

    Now, the split acting schools had to form something common to brave the behemoths called BJP and Congress, so they formed the third front, with JD chief Deve Gowda gathering all parties and waking up the third front – AIADMK, PMK, CPI, CPM, TDP, RSP, Forward block, JDS, TRS, BSP…

    Behenji, the popular Mayawati of UP (My state of residence for two years), was rising in charts. It was rumored that she wanted to be the PM candidate, for the third front. This rumor was later calmed with the pretext that it would be discusses later after results. (It is common knowledge that that the decision would have resulted that the party with highest seats would have the PM post, the next highest could get Home, and so on…)

    Now, if Andhra and UP were making such marches could Maharashtra be left far? NCP lead by Sharad Pawar, joined BJD to contest. BJD is now a part of Fourth Front. One more front? Fourth Front is the combination of Lalu Prasad Yadav, Mulayam Singh, Ram Vilas Paswan, Amar Singh. Add Sanjay Dutt, the General Secretary for the Samajwadi Party, who met with PRP leader Chiranjeevi, and now they too are part of the Fourth Front, more popular as Yadav Front. Now these people know that they themselves probably can’t form the government, but they would form a vital support for the ruling alliance.

    Yeah, my watchman is contemplating forming the 1428th front.

    Now after all the five phases of the polling are completed, and the verdict is still awaited, most of the leaders are out holidaying. They know, it would be hard core business again from tomorrow once the results are declared. Buying MPs, forging alliances, setting up people and negotiating, giving up HOME for CM, and also creation of new posts like Chairperson would be the talk in the newspapers from tomorrow.

    Now during this run up to the actual polling there have quite a lot of controversies and entertaining scenes. Before we reach to the last episode of this reality show series, let us go back to the famous scenes and episodes which created lots of TRP for the series.

    Jaago Re Campaign: For the first time, a lot of media was dedicated to the task of getting people realize the importance of voting. Complete Media campaigns from TATA tea, Dharma productions, and various organizations really created a stir. In Spite of many famous people showing their middle finger, there was an abysmal turnout in many constituencies. Mumbai was around 45%, Lucknow 35%…
    Amithabh,jaya,Ash
    Varun Gandhi: He was one person, who would go down in the history of Pilibhit. No MP from that place could get this much publicity to this constituency that he has brought. Pilibhit has now entered the common parlance of people, and it is identified as well as Hyderabad. All thanks to Varun, and his speeches. Of course, the Muslims are all still afraid of his party.

    Black Money: We have heard about swiss bank, and seen it in movies. Swiss bank had such a glamour quotient that having an account there implied that the person has arrived in life. Well, no more. Advaniji probably realized that Swiss bank was offering too low an interest rate, and it is better to park his money elsewhere. So he vowed that he would get all the money back from the bank, to be disbursed in india.

    Election Commissioner Imbroglio: N. Gopalaswami, the chief election commissioner, recommended to the President of India Pratibha Patil that Navin Chawla be sacked for behaving in a partisan manner.

    This recommendation in itself was controversial, as it was unclear if the Chief Election Commissioner has the legal and constitutional right to provide such a unilateral recommendation. As expected, Chawla refused to resign as he was expected to take over the post of Chief Election Commissioner a few months later. (Eventually, he was not sacked and went on to become the next election commissioner after Gopalaswami)

    The above controversy also resulted in speculation that the Election Commission was unable to agree on the polling dates, with the incumbent CEC Gopalaswami preferring that at least one phase of elections be held before his retirement. Navin Chawla, on the other hand, wanted the election to only start after Gopalaswami retired.

    So, for the first time in the history of Indian politics, two different people oversaw different phases of the same election.

    Jaya Prada porno cds: Jaya Prada, the SP candidate from Rampur, accused another SP leader Azam Khan of circulating material to sully her image. JayaPrada claims that Azam Khan is like her elder brother, but is sullying her image by involving in cheap campaigning. CDs and posters were released to scandalize her image. There were even reports quoting Amar Singh that Jaya Prada may commit suicide if she lost the elections.

    Well, now this is some nice entertainment for Rampur inhabitants. A lot more people would be sure wishing that Azam was in their constituency or maybe, at least he should have been web savvy to circulate the content online. Also, would have been better if some other better looking younger female was contesting from Rampur.

    Shoe Throwing: Indians admire everything American, and they have shown it again by aping the treatment meted out to former US president Bush. There have been many cases of shoe flinging at the politicos in the recent past. “If it fits, throw it” seems to be the mantra. Now you know why bata stocks are rising?

    Some questions of thought here – Why can’t journalists aim better? What happens to the shoe after the show? Should shoe hurling will become a required subject at journalism schools?

    First off the mark here was local reporter Jarnail Singh, who got into a heated exchange with Home Minister P Chidambaram this month. At the height of the heated discussions, Sikh launched his size 9 Reebok sneaker at the minister, who was standing five feet away. His questions were on target, but his shoe was not. The Shiromani Akali Dal, offered Singh a $4,000 reward and several people pushed for an auction so they could acquire the offending item.

    Singh was quoted saying, “Hurling was a not-for-profit activity aimed at making a point. And anyway, the police who grabbed it for evidence still haven’t given it back”. So now, the police are treasuring the shoe, should get it from the will sure fetch a decent price at crosby’s.

    A few days later, a 64-year-old retired school principal threw a shoe at popular Congress Party lawmaker Naveen Jindal during an election rally. The principal, again a Singh, said the shoe was more aimed at the Indian political system – needless to say, it did not hit any of the target.

    Now Mr. Advani realized, he is losing his importance, and needs to do something. He probably planted someone, and got flunged upon by a slipper by a member of his own party angry at being pushed out of a leadership position.

    Even the Chinese were not spared, when protesters threw shoes at the Chinese Embassy in New Delhi after Beijing sentenced to death two Tibetans for their role in March 2008 riots in Lhasa.

    The authorities are now contemplating not allowing any footwear for the cricket matches, to be secure. So till now, Cricket was only considered a religion, now on the grounds would be held as a holy place too ala temples.

    These were some of the noteworthy incidents that happened during the last couple of election months. I am sure there are many more, and would appreciate if they could be discussed out further.