BRAToSPHERE

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  • >FRUSTRATED

    >Behne de.. mujhe behne de…

    Sitting in the more than delayed train at some random station, and just waiting for it to move. These songs seem to be the only respite. I have plans. I want to be there. I want to go there and have fun, river rafting, kay kaying, rappling. Now that would be adventure. But thanks to Indian railways I am here in this damn hole called the bogie, in a small berth trying to fit in my legs.

    Like everything else in life, here I am frustrated with two things. As economists would call it: a micro and a macro reason.

    Let us first start with the macro reason – The Indian Railways. Can it never improve? Do we Indians not deserve punctuality in time? Are we not privileged enough to be asking for such basic necessities? Why, even after 150 years of operation, the operations part of the Indian railways is still a farce?

    Thinking about it, it has little to do with the Indian railways in particular. It is the Indian government. Anything that the government puts its murky hands into, turns into crap. The Indian railways network is the largest in the world, and it also boasts of the largest employer in the world. Why not? There are so many of them who I am sure just sit at home, and draw their salaries.

    Totally dejected I am, and not without any reason. I really used to like that dialogue from RDB – “ koi bhi desh perfect nahi hota, use perfect banana hota hai..”, but in the case of india, till this kind of government machinery exists, till the railways is just one big lucrative ministerial portfolio, till people are just interested in buying votes, and then making money out of the electoral process like a business, nothing is going to improve.

    Seeing things like this, one rather starts believeing in, “you can’t beat them join them!”. Unfortunately that is what has been happening across the years in india, and nothing much has changed. Nothing.

    Now coming to the micro reason of my present frustration here in this cramped berth. I hate side seats in the Indian trains. what average height of the Indian was assumed in making this. Indians are sure not this short.

    Zindagi.. do pal ki.. intezaar kab tak.. hum karenge bhala.. ( playing on my winamp)

    I was supposed to be there on the way to the resort to trek, raft, rapple, and do a host lot of other crazy things. I hate it. Why am I here? The Indian rail to blame, but more than that, why am I travelling on a Saturday morning? Why have I not retired on Friday evening itself for the weekend? I could have taken a flight yesterday evening, and slept comfortably at home.

    No one to blame here, except me. People have told me, take a break. Have a life. There is something called work life balance. But I guess then I need to correct things out there. I need to do that extra thing to ensure things are done in my way. I am just behaving like a pure plain crazy workaholic. Am I really one? I am not too sure.

    More than six months and have not been home, and have promised myself that I would not till I achieve my goals. I have not realy freaked out much in the last four months after taking over, I will not till everything is set.

    My room has the poster, “I CAN REPAIR ALMOST EVERYTHING”, and I will repair it. But then dude, have a life!!! Huh! This is not the first time I am hearing this, and I have never ever felt bad working on weekends, working late into the nights, doing all the crazy travel, but then this time it has spoiled my plans. It has screwed my plans of doing something that I love.

    Chill, big deal. I just enquired it would take another two hours to reach Bangalore. Two more hours. It is already two hours late, and two more hours. Perfect. Could not have asked for more. Why am I frustrated? Why? Damn!

    For a journey which takes 8 hours, the train is delayed by four hours. Awesome. 50% more time to cover the distance. The driver was fucking drinking and sleeping around the night. Bas%&^.

    Was just talking to mom the other day, and she was reminding me of my hatredness towards railways and was asking the reason why I was travelling on rail. I am an idiot (and not the aamir khan types!), that is why.

    HATE IT!!!!

    Oh girl you’re mine… oh girl you’re mine!!!!!

  • >All good things come to an end

    >okay, one more month got added to the list. Funny. Just in feb i had rued about the fact that i had not blogged for those two monhts, and had made a mental resolve that i would blog regularly. But guess, the work toll took away too much of time. Not too sure if that would change any soon. “targets nahi ho rahe bhai!”

    if professional life was not screwed enough, personal life too is not going any great guns. Everything seems so complicated, so confusing.

    even now, don’t have the luxury to write a post in detail ( i so much want to!), but wanted to post the lyrics of a song that have been listening of late.

    “All Good Things (Come To An End)”

    Honestly what will become of me
    don’t like reality
    It’s way too clear to me
    But really life is dandy
    We are what we don’t see
    Missed everything daydreaming

    [Chorus:]
    Flames to dust
    Lovers to friends
    Why do all good things come to an end
    Flames to dust
    Lovers to friends
    Why do all good things come to an end
    come to an end come to an
    Why do all good things come to end?
    come to an end come to an
    Why do all good things come to an end?

    Traveling I only stop at exits
    Wondering if I’ll stay
    Young and restless
    Living this way I stress less
    I want to pull away when the dream dies
    The pain sets in and I don’t cry
    I only feel gravity and I wonder why

    Flames to dust
    Lovers to friends
    Why do all good things come to an end
    Flames to dust
    Lovers to friends
    Why do all good things come to an end
    come to an end come to an
    Why do all good things come to end?
    come to an end come to an
    Why do all good things come to an end?

    Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
    Barking at the new moon
    Hoping it would come soon so that they could
    Dogs were whistling a new tune
    Barking at the new moon
    Hoping it would come soon so that they could
    Die die die die die

    Flames to dust
    Lovers to friends
    Why do all good things come to an end
    Flames to dust
    Lovers to friends
    Why do all good things come to an end
    come to an end come to an
    Why do all good things come to end?
    come to an end come to an
    Why do all good things come to an end?

    Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
    Whistling a new tune
    Hoping it would come soon
    And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day ’til the feeling went away
    And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
    the rain forgot how to bring salvation
    the dogs were barking at the new moon
    Whistling a new tune
    Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

    ~ nelly furtado

    My fav lines in the song.. the chorus
    Flames to dust
    Lovers to friends
    Why do all good things come to an end
    SO TRUE.

  • >Those Two Months

    >This blog has existed for about 4 and a half years now, and I have been loyal to some extent to it. Yes, there have been these flirting moments, and those close calls, when I wanted to call it quits, but the overall love towards it kept me going.

    Now this is not a girl that I should get so attracted to and keep raving about it(in case of girls, it is more out of compulsion and less due to the inherent want though!). The blog has indeed been a good companion, and has seen me through my ups and lows, and has now become a very integral part of me, my identity, my.. my.. . Okay! no melodrama here.

    Sometimes, this makes me wonder, why do I actually blog?

    We write to record our thoughts, true! The other reasons that I could convince myself are:

    1. Makes me a better thinker (yeah! Socrates in the making!)

    2. Makes me a better writer (obviously!)

    3. Develops a voice within myself, which is consistent and natural
    .
    .
    .
    Ah bull..! I just write for fun! Coz, I enjoy writing and nothing else.

    Do I never get these writer’s block? Obviously I do!

    Sure, there were times when I was completely stuck, and did not know what to write, though somewhere deep inside I did want to write. In such times, I just walked out of the house, go to the beach ( in vizag), and start listening and eavesdropping on people. Random arbit people, that you would find in hoardes everywhere. It would then become that person’s story, and the keyboard kept clicking.

    Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.- ~ Steve martin

    I realize that I have written atleast one post every single month since I started this blog. Every single month! Except for two months – Dec’06, and Nov’09.

    I think I know the reason why this happened. Why these two months got singled out? What exactly happened during these two months?

    December 2006

    I was in my final year of engineering, and was living life kingsize. I had everything I always wanted, everything that any college goer would wish. CAT was going good, AIESEC was loads of fun, College was exciting and I was doing pretty decently there, I was on the verge of having a girlfriend,etc.. what better could one ask for?

    CAT was done in November, and all the Sundays of December were scheduled in my diary with appointments with other exams – IIFT, XAT, SNAP, JMET, and what not!

    With so much happening, I think there was little time left for any blogging. There was no time to actually sleep. Nah! I was not studying.

    I remember this one exam – JMET. It was on the 10th of December, Sunday. Just two weeks before this, in the last week of november, I was crowned the organising committee president for a local conference of AIESEC, scheduled to happen on 9th and 10th December. Great! How do I manage this?

    “Oh! Come on, I am striving to be a manager. This is the real test!. Multitasking”, I tried convincing myself.

    All of December first week was spent in getting sponsorships, ensuring all logistical arrangements are in place, everyone is invited properly, etc.. the whole day, starting from 7 something in the morning with a team meet and a smoke at the beach to late midnight, I was caught up organising this.

    Saturday, 9th December morning, everything was set, and i was in the hotel (venue of the conference) right at 8AM, to ensure last minute settings are done properly. The show went on all day, and the evening ( well late night!) parties also went on smoothly.

    I was awake till 5:30AM in the morning, ensuring everything is going proper in the party, and there were no untoward events. Then also handling disputing couples who were booked in the same room, but now wanted separate rooms after their quarrel ( how would they end up if they get married?), helping puking people to get more comfortable, more so if the puking person is Asthmatic. This went on till 7 in the morning, and then I realize I have an exam at 10AM.

    I rush home, asking my team members to take care, and assigning one person the power of attorney to take decisions for the morning.

    I reached home with a shabby tattered look on my face, got freshened up, had breakfast and zoomed to the exam center. I looked like I had just woken up from sleep and walked through. I told my friends of the amount of alcohol within my body, that has been urging to vomit out since morning.

    I somehow sat through the paper for two hours, and my sense of duty towards the conference ( or call it lack of trust in my team!) was so high, that Immediately after the exam I zoomed to the hotel, and it went on again like the previous night, right up till monday morning.

    These two days were an example of the kind of fast paced of life, I was lucky to experience in december’06, and thus my reason for not writing a single post.

    Ah! Well, before you start guessing, I got an AIR of 252 in JMET.

    November’2009

    This is the second such month, which went without a single post. I was in delhi in November having my Sales officer stint.

    The last three months had been strenuous and quite eventful. My first actual exposure to the corporate world, to the world of FMCG, to the world of selling. Yes, I was a salesman! Ah! Well, a sales officer handling the central part of Delhi.

    November was my review time, and I was badly rogered in my first review that happened on 26th October (yes, I do remember the date!).

    Right from then, I was bent on proving a point and prepared hard for nights together trying to memorize everything that could be asked in the review. (it was scheduled to happen in the first week of November).

    Ensuring that no stone is left unturned, I actually memorised everything. How many grams is each unit of every sku? what is the case configuration? how many sku’s in each outer?, what is the price of a single piece? of an outer? of a case? What is the retailer margin? distributor margin? the invoicing details, various placement programs, the details of each one of them, how many such outlets exist in delhi, how many in my area, which ones? Everything.

    The next thing, I would start memorizing was the actual sku wise sale of each outlets of the 3500 odd outlets in my territory.!

    Well, as luck would have it, my review did not happen in november first week. I rather went to jim Corbett national park with the delhi team. After the trip, when I was very much expecting my review to happen, I was instead sentenced off to meerut, UP for a week.

    “I want you to butcher the RD there”, were the words directed to me!

    I did not have an option, and taking it in the right stride went on. After two days in meerut, I was again called back for the branch review, within two days of my stay there in meerut.

    I now expected my review to happen. It was already the second week of November and my next stint details had come. I attended the two day review, then the launch of a new product, and then on the subsequent Monday when I went to office (very hopeful that I would be reviewed today!), I was sentenced back to meerut.

    “two days is too less. Go there for one more week!”, I was told.

    “Yes Sir”, and I marched directly to meet Nisha in the evening and from there directly to meerut without any luggage whatsoever.

    Here I need to thank Nisha for being there during those difficult days, which could have been a lot more depressing if not for her.

    Stayed in meerut for the whole week, and started back on Saturday reaching delhi late night.

    On Monday, again expecting the review to happen now that the vanvaas ( exile) of meerut is done, I was completely ready. Well, life cannot be all that simple. The review has further been postponed indefinitely, due to some urgencies!

    I was free on tue and wed, as the review would now only happen on 26th, Thursday at the earliest. I went back to meerut, having nothing better to do here in Delhi. Met Nisha on Tuesday, and went back to meerut that evening, only to come back on Wednesday afternoon itself. I would rather prefer spending time with Nisha here in Dlehi, than whine there alone in meerut!

    26th November, Thursday
    I headed out to office, and this time not so hopeful that there would be a review. I spent the morning, again in the waiting room, cribbing about life in general. At about 2:30PM, finally after the long wait, I was called in for the elusive review. It went well, and it had to after all those nights of preparations.

    27th morning, I took a flight to Chennai to meet people here in the south branch. Little did I then know, that this is the branch that I would eventually get posted to. I was in Chennai on Friday and Saturday, and then early Sunday morning, took a flight to Mumbai to attend some training program there.

    Flew down to Bangalore on Tuesday evening, dec 1st, finally reporting to my next stint. ASM Shadow stint.

    There, thus the whole month of November was filled with utmost depression, and despair, and yeah! I forgot to mention this – I even had a small argument with P, which turned out to be a big one leading to eventualities.

    Novemeber 2009 was BAD! Now, how could i have blogged?

  • >3 idiots learning

    >“yeh jo dil hai na.. bada darpok hai. isko bevkoof bana ke rakho.. life mein jitni bhi problem ho.. isko bolo “koi baat nahi chachu.. sab kuch theek thaak hai. ALL IZZ WELL. ALL IZZ WELL”

    How true? Jus keep uttering this to yourself, that everything is fine, and there you get a big boost of confidence to tackle any problem. My dad always says, “There is no problem that big that it cannot be tackled. It is only the mental roadblock to believe that it can be tackled that is big!” Again, how true?

    Well, the dialogue is from the movie – 3 idiots, and truly as Uma Sir says, What a movie it was? More than the entertainment value the subtle message that is delivered speaks volumes, and hopefully will awake people. This post is dedicated to him, for his motivation to write something on this front!

    The movie’s theme is highly inspiring and thought provoking even while it takes a dig at the current educational system with all its latent flaws and seriously questions the very relevance of societal whims which eat away into a budding student’s mind that the end of education is a high profile job, wealth, fame, name et al., making them deprived of the opportunity to set their vision on something where their heart and soul lies! .. ~ Uma Shankar

    The book “five point someone” I am sure I read by more or less all of us, and this movie is a loose adaptation of the same. (no matter what Raju or vidhu say.. it is very much inspired from the book). Though yes, It does require the caliber of hirani- Aamir to bring out the latent message in the book – the education system of the country and its flaws.

    A little about the movie – It starts with Madhavan & Sharman getting a link about the whereabouts of Aamir , & they set out to meet him. Their college life is shown in the flash back. Aamir, who is different from others, with some off the track goal in mind, shows the first glint of his brilliance in the ragging scene. (very old engineering ragging technique!) They become friends & start living their rollercoaster life in the college. Boman irani is the principal, and he makes their lives hell, & to top it all, his daughter falls in love with one of them ( you know who!). The college fun, filled with some unexpected twists ad turns do make it an enjoyable watch.

    The movie has raised some very valid & burning questions – teenagers committing suicide out of pressure, the validity of the college courses, need of grading system, etc.

    The best part of the movie is that the makers have not only criticized the system and left it there, but have also shown the way – the school in Laddakh is a reminder for the government to see.

    Now talking in detail about some fundamental flaws of the Indian education system which need to be changed.

    Learning by rote

    Learning by rote involves learning facts without developing a deep understanding of them. This lack of understanding makes it impossible to grasp meaning and apply and transfer the knowledge to other areas. Memorizing vocabulary words is pointless, for example, without understanding how to use them in conversation.

    Lectures often emphasize rote learning rather than critical thinking. Topics are discussed sequentially, not critically. The teacher does the talking and most of the thinking. The student memorizes material and is placed in a passive role. But many of us who use the lecture should also be concerned that our students learn to think critically.

    I remember students when teaching in a coaching institute for competitive exams. When I start teaching them to solve a problem yb starting from the basics of arithmetic, and then complete the entire question in a logical step by step manner, no bidy would listen. In the end, one of the guys would ask, “Sir, is there no shortcut formula for this problem?”.

    Yes, there is a shortcut formula. MAKE ONE!. You should know how to derive the shortcut and make it your own.

    I think it is time, that india moves to an enquiry based learning. This describes a range of philosophical, curricular and pedagogical approaches to teaching. Its core premises include the requirement that learning should be based around student’s questions. Pedagogy and curriculum requires students to work together to solve problems rather than receiving direct instructions on what to do from the teacher. The teacher’s job is therefore not to provide knowledge, but instead to help students along the process of discovering knowledge themselves.

    Obsession with Grades

    When I was in college, it was apparent. As the semester comes to a close, student anxiety tends to rise, usually to extraordinary levels. At L, the libraries would be filled with students

    Students just talk to professors about one thing – grades. It is never to do with a new invention or some latest technology. No! it only has to be grades, and even if the talk digress to something academic it is only with the hope of creating an impression for it to reflect on the grades. ACP – After class participation.

    Students who actually get curious about a subject are rare. It all just waters down to a letter grade.

    My friends who went on a student exchange program to different parts of the world, had this to say about the system there, “.. their classroom manners weren’t the best – arriving late, answering cellphones, and frequently turning in homework after it was due. But grades were never an issue. It truly was a productive academic environment – the focus was on collaborative learning rather than individual grades…”

    An example here would be MIT Professor Noam Chomsky. During his junior high school years, he went to an experimental school run by Temple University’s education department. With no grades or competition, each student was simply encouraged to do his or her best. Chomsky recollects this school as a wonderful and influential experience.

    His parents then sent him to a competitive high school for college-bound students. Chomsky realized that grades and success were all that mattered, and school suddenly became a scary place that he admits he hated: “If I got a B in something, it was tragic,” he writes in a letter. “I even got a D once – in English grammar, a subject that made no sense at all as far as I could figure out.”
    huh! English grammar. Thankfully CAT just has the application part of English.

    Since joining the linguistics faculty at MIT in 1955, he has changed the face of linguistics, and especially the English language, with his theories on generative grammar. The point here: Grades aren’t everything; excellence is. (point reiterated more than once in the movie!!)

    Of course, who can argue that earning a good grade is not important? I, too, must admit that I become preoccupied with grades in my own graduate classes. but well, i was never in the rat race. I just wanted to clear the papers, as a pre requisite. It remained the same at L too.
    But rather than running behind success, we should strive to sun behind excellence, which is the truer secret to education.

    “kamyabi ke peeche nahi, kabilyat ke peeche bhago!.. kamyabi khud tumhare peeche daudegi”

    When “get results now” prevails over “achieve excellence,” it’s very tempting to renounce our integrity.

    The movie is a must watch for everyone, and especially to the parents of south india, who have tirelessly churned engineers and more engineers in the past several years. In the south india I have seen, it is like after tenth standard, a teenager is given the option – engineering or medicine? It is as if there are no other options available in the world. This has done good to the economy – a complete full fledged coaching market has sprung and is flourishing, but what has it done to the intellectual capital?

    We have lost potential cricketers, actors, writers, photographers to this demon called engineering. Most of them have been sucked to the IT industry, and one year of recession has shown its true colours. Supply far exceeds demand and still there is a demand for “Quality” and “job ready” candidates. All these students just know to rote, so applying them to the real world is completely a different ball game al together.

    So I sincerely hope the movie shows some ways, and brings about a mindset change in some people at least. And also, hoping that the people in power, think something about the whole system and realize it is time for reforms. In relation to movies, some may wonder what movie did jeffrey dahmer watch with his victims.

  • >New Year Resolutions

    >Now this is one funny thing that I have not understood for many years now. Why do people have new year resolutions? 99% of them are done with it by January end itself, and the remaining 1% wean away gradually I am sure. So why have it?

    As one of my friend has it on her Gtalk status – “people who don’t keep their new years resolutions are weak people, and those who actually make new year resolutions are fools!”

    What’s the difference b/w a New Year resolution and this blog?

    A. You at least follow the latter! (picked this one from the MTVINDIA twitter stream)

    I remember the last new years party in campus last year. Srini who was trying hard to quit smoking, comes over to me and Abhinav, and asks for a cigarette.

    He had just got refused by Chitta.

    Bharat: “I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking”

    Srini: “I’m in the process of quitting”, he replies with a grin on his face.“

    Srini: “Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.”

    Abhinav: “Phase one?”

    Srini: “Yeah.. I’ve quit buying!!”

    Needless to say, the cigarette remained lit for the entire year, and yes he did buy many a times. On his was to car dealers, in Mumbai local trains, he had to.

    Talking more about resolutions, I wondered how a resolution list of people would look across the years.

    Lazy reader

    2006: I will read at least 20 books a year
    2007: I will read all of Chetan Bhagat’s books
    2008: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
    2009: I will read at least one article this year.
    2010: I will try to glance at RK laxman’s cartoon everyday this year!!

    An Overweight guy

    2006: I will reduce to 80Kg.
    2009: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
    2008: I will work out 5 days a week.
    2009: I will work out 3 days a week.
    2010: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week!

    An extravagant woman

    2006: I will not spend my money frivolously.
    2007: I will pay off my credit card bills without fines
    2008: I will be totally out of debt by the year end
    2009: I will try to pay off the debt interest by the year end
    2010: I will try to be out of the country before getting thrown into jail!

    A poor husband

    2007: I will try to be a better husband to pooja
    2008: I will not leave pooja
    2009: I will try for reconciliation with pooja
    2010: I will try to be a better husband to Shilpa!

    Again, a poor husband (come on, he deserves it!!

    2007: I will stop looking at other women.
    2008: I will not get involved with Shilpa.
    2009: I will not let Shillpa affect my marriage
    2010: I will stop looking at other women!! (there it starts again!)

    An Alcoholic

    2007: I will not take a drink before 8PM
    2008: I will not touch the bottle before 4PM
    2009: I will not become a “problem drinker”.
    2010: I will not miss my appointments with the liver doctor!!

    A nerd

    2005: When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, “LOL… LOL!”
    2006: I will stop sending e-mail, gmail, webmail and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
    2007: I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.
    2008: will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.
    2009: I will not subscribe to an unlimited internet connection!
    2010: I will not miss my appointments with the ophthalmologist.

    Well, these were the resolutions of different kind of people. Coming to my own list:-

    1. Give up smoking (again).
    2. Learn a new skill, take up a new hobby. (really!)
    3. Get organized. (yeah sure, and well buying an organizer does not fulfil this resolution)
    4. Become more security conscious. (whose security?)
    5. Be more regular on this page (this one i am serious)
    6. Give up drinking, at least for the first week of January! (ahem! Well.. lets see!)
    7. Stop procrastinating. Will start this from 11th jan, come on it’s a weekend, and last week I was busy.

    Happy new year once again.

    Quotes
    New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. -Mark Twain

    Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account – Oscar Wilde