Author: Bharat Jhurani

>English has always been a funny lang, and with al its liberal dose of phonetics and flexible grammar, things are really very confusing…

Here is a conversation between the president of the United states and Condoleeza Rice, and a typical example of how things get screwed up…

Secretary: – Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you.
George B. : – Good, send her in.
Secretary: – Yessir.

(Hangs up. Condi enters.)

Condoleeza: – Good morning, Mr. President.
George B. : – Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condoleeza : – Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China.
George B. : – Great, Condi. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza : – Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China.
George B. : – Well, that’s what I want to know.
Condoleeza : – But that’s what I’m telling you, Mr. President.
George B. : – Well, that’s what I’m asking you, Condie. Who is the new leader of China?
Condoleeza : – Yes.
George B. : – I mean the fellow’s name.
Condoleeza : – Hu.
George B. : – The guy in China.
Condoleeza : – Hu.
George B. : – The new leader of China.
Condoleeza : – Hu.
George B. : – The Chinaman!
Condoleeza : – Hu is leading China, Mr. President.
George B. : – Whaddya’ asking me for?
Condoleeza : – I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
George B. : – Well, I’m asking you, Condie. Who is leading China?
Condoleeza : – That’s the man’s name.
George B. : – That’s who’s name?
Condoleeza : – Yes.

(Pause.)

George B. : – Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condoleeza : – Yes, sir.
George B. : – Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condoleeza : – That’s correct.
George B. : – Then who is in China?
Condoleeza : – Yes, sir.
George B. : – Yassir is in China?
Condoleeza : – No, sir.
George B. : – Then who is?
Condoleeza : – Yes, sir.
George B. : – Yassir?
Condoleeza : – No, sir.

(Pause. Crumples paper)

George B. : – Condi, you’re starting to piss me off now, and it’s not ’cause you’re black neither. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. So why don’t you get me the Secretary General of the United Nations on the phone.
Condoleeza : – Kofi Annan?
George B. : – No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap.
Condoleeza : – You want Kofi?
George B. : – No.
Condoleeza : – You don’t want Kofi.
George B. : – No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condoleeza : – Yes, sir.
George B. : – Not Yassir! The guy at the United Nations.
Condoleeza : – Kofi?
George B. : – Milk! Will you please make that call?
Condoleeza : – And call who?
George B. : – Well, who is the guy at the U.N?
Condoleeza : – No, Hu is the guy in China.
George B. : – Will you stay out of China?!
Condoleeza : – Yes, sir.
George B. : – And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condoleeza : – Kofi.
George B. : – All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condoleeza : – Hello. Rice, here.
George B. : – Rice? Good idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in the Middle East? I don’t know.

Speak in English,
BJ

>Have u had a look at the new dashboard of blogger.com, Its more simple, more clear and finally more easy-to-navigate.. Probably, 1st march is the bloggers day, or s’thin of that kind, Or else, what explains simultaneous upgrading of so many srvices on the blogging community – new version of myshoutbox, Launch of blogcharm.com, redesign of the dashboard,.. Aneways, all 4 the good…

This piece of news has really rised my interest 2 go 4 a high end mobile phone, I mean clubbing Blogging and photography( My two prime interests) along with the normal phone facility is simply 2 hard 2 resist. What say? Now how do i explain this 2 my dad?? Any ideas…

Now to my favourite topic – Alcohol. Am i obsessed with it?? Yes and No. Yes because i like reading about the different varieties available, the uniqueness of each, the minor subtelities, etc.. and No beacause I m not that an avid drinker, It is just on some rare occasions, that i drink, Just 4 company sake… So with some extensive research on wines i have come up with some trivia, which may not b useful in a anyway, except sheer pleasure…

Drink wine, and you will sleep well. Sleep, and you will not sin. Avoid sin, and you will be saved. Ergo, drink wine and be saved.— Old saying

Some of the greatest pleasures of life lie in simplicity. The humble grapes that are fermented into wine only go on to prove this point.

Whoever invented wine( God bless him) — intentionally or by accident — may have never thought the drink would go on to perennially grace fine-dining tables across the world.

Let us explore what is it that has had many a connoisseur( Its me!! ) appreciating, adulating and finally commending this drink as nonpareil.

New world, new tastes

At one point in time, wines were synonymous with the vineyards of France. While Bordeaux and Burgundy still remain eternal favourites, Italian, South African and Californian wines have also made inroads into the connoisseurs’ taste buds.

Some of the latest wines in the market are from our own country. Areas near Nashik and Bangalore( Now u understand my desire 2 relocate 2 Bangalore!!) have come up very well as the new wine districts of the world.

A wine is distinguished by:

~ Name of the shipper/producer (For example, Cockburn Smithes, Sula Vineyards, Davenport Vineyards, etc)

~ Area or region where it is produced (Alsace, Bordeaux, Stellenbosch, Paarl, Hunter Valley, Canberra region, etc)

~ The year of production

~ The kind of grape from which it is manufactured, determining the texture and smoothness. White grapes include chardonnay, marsanne, riesling, etc while examples of red or black grapes are barbera, cabernet franc, pinotage, etc

~ The aroma or bouquet (a distinctive and characteristic fragrance) of the wine

Certain years — when the crops were exceptionally good, resulting in excellent wines — are called vintage years.Each wine-producing region has its own list of vintage years. It is well known that the more aged the wine, the steeper the price. This is because as the wine matures, it acquires a flavour and texture that is simply fantastic. Vintage wines are especially very expensive.

In general, wines have between 11 to 14 per cent alcohol. It may not sound very intoxicating, but trust me, you can get very drunk on wine!

Red wine

Red wine is made of black grapes. It is usually served at room temperature, ie, 14 to 18 degree centigrade (remember, room temperature is with reference to France, where wine originated.)

In India, you can keep it in the fridge. It is an ideal accompaniment for red meat.

Red wine glasses are smaller than white wine glasses and have a broader rim.

Apart from the taste, red wine is purportedly good for the heart and makes your skin glow, so long as it is consumed in moderate quantities (not more than two glasses per day)…

White wine

White wine may be produced from white grapes or even from black grapes whose skin is peeled off. It is served chilled at about 8 to 10 degree centigrade.

White wine glasses have a narrow rim. The wine goes well with white meat (sea food or chicken). Generally, white wines are drier than red wines (ie, they do not leave a sweet aftertaste).

Champagne – The true King of good times…

Celebrations and champagne go together, for what reflects a spirited environment better than the bubbly, effervescent champagne?

Champagne is made from a mixture of black and white grapes. After fermentation, it is infused with carbon while bottling.

It is also known as sparkling wine. But remember, only the sparkling wine produced in the Champagne region of France is called champagne. The rest are simply called sparkling wines.

Champagnes are popularly used to make exciting cocktails. Some cocktails that you may find include Champagne Flamingo (with campari and vodka), Champagne Cocktail (with angostura bitters), Black Velvet (with Guinness), Mimosa (with orange juice), etc.

This was all about some of the selected varieties of alcohol, More are in the offing…

Please take my word, and don’t get addicted 2 it.. Our life is too short and there is no harm in experiencing all pleasures, but v should take care that they don’t go overboard…

Bye 4 now, My dad’s at the dinner table and this would b the right time 2 raise the proposal 4 a new cell…

Keep wining( er!! Sorry winning),
BJ

>Finally the links to the ads above are working, and hopefully the earnings would start flowing in soon( Touch wood).. But the basic question – What necessitated me 2 have ads on my otherwise clean blog??? The society. Yes, no matter how astonishing, or surprising it sounds, that alone is the truth. I have got addicted to this phenomena of blogging, and the society around me does not recognize PASSIONS, so i had to show them some meaning in this endeavour of mine, Thus these ads.
On the more factual side, the entire world is driven by marketing. I remember one of my teachers in school telling me that if all the ads were scrapped, of all media, the prices of popular essential commodities would fall by atleast 50% of the present cost. The marketing dept. is one single dept., in any large organization, which manages to blow up tha max. amt. of money. REASON : BUILDING UP THE BRAND NAME. and, does it count?? Unfortunately, yes!! I m sure all of us would prefer wearing an ADIDAS than any other Tee, not even its clone.. Y??? The brand name. ADIDAS hai to acchha hoga.but is this always true. well, maybe yes. A company spending half of its input in promoting the end-product would obviously want high standards 2 b mantained. But, does this mean the local manufactured items 2 b “fit 4 nothin”. nope!! Just that v need to have a knack 2 pick up the right things, at the right price.

Ah!! I can give sermons on advertizing 4 hours together and still not get exhausted. I guess that would b the best future 2 me, considering my limited skill-sets. Anyways, by now i hope, u have got a gist of the rationale behind the ads on the top, so do ur job and let the proverbial chula be burning at my place… He!! he!!..

Keep clicking,
BJ

>This is the output of some intense discussions( They were fun) and setting ourselves the task to come up with the A-Z of alcohol beverages.. and lo! v were succesful… It was initially in the SMS format, but i think it is a perfect post 4 my funky blog – COLLEGIAN

A – Aristocrat
B – Bagpiper
C – Contessa
D – Director’s special
E – Eight PM
F – Fundrop
G – Godfather
H – Haywards
I – Imperial blue
J – Jhonny walker
K – Kingfisher
L – Limedrop
M – Mughal monarch
N – Napolean
O – Oldmonk
P – Peterscot
R – Royal stag
S – Signature
T – Teacher’s
U – Uniball
V – Vat-69
X – XXX rum
Y – Yankey
Z – Zingaro

( Q kyun nahi?? Yeh nahi puvhne kaa…)…

So, what is your brand 4 the day?!?!?

Now I understand y Vijay Mallya is so rich….

Keep drinking( Water!!),
BJ

>As promised, this post on IIT KGP did not take that long. Reason : I have got broadband connection at home recently and this gives me flexibilty to work at any time of the day. Basically, I am an owl and am sure to b an insomniac in the not-so-far future, I don’t get sleep early( Early here is 0000hrs), So all this work takes place at the devil’s hour.

Now about KSHITIJ’06. How did it all start? One fine tuesday, in mid-december, after the DSP lab my eye caught the view of the poster at the department notice board. I immediately decided, I wanna go there. I expressed this desire in the class, and asked if anyone else would be interested. No response for a week or so, except from Sandeep. Then Shrikanth informed me that Praveen, Of mechanical, is also interested. We met, and started off immediately.

I remember our first meeting, in this regard, at Cafe Topaz. All of us( Me, Praveen and an undecided Shrikanth) were on an hih at this thought. We even decided to participate in some events, online. We rounded up on CARX( a SUV seating designing competition by TATA motors), and Atelier( A publicty campaign). After that, we met regularly, at CCD, Fresh choice, Shrikanth’s place, etc.. and finally came up with some ideas for both the comp’s. After dressing our thoughts neatly in ppt., autocad, MS word,etc.. we sent it to them. And, lo!! our idea for Atelier gets selected. Out of some 60 entries all over India, 10 are selected and ours is one among them( Competing against the mights of IITKGP, IIMK, MICA, etc..)

Six of us started off on 31st( or early 1st feb, the train was late), by coromandel express. The team comprised – Me, Shrikanth, Vamsi, sandeep, Praveen and Karthik(eie). We were received at KGP( the longest platform in the world – 1072.5mts), by Praveen’s uncle. After rejecting the pathetic accomodation provided by the Organisers( 150 participants cramped into a sports room), we moved down to a nearby hotel – The park. The first was all spent up in roaming around the huge campus( 700 acres), which we could’nt scale completely. We met some fellow vizagites of MVGR, who also ended up stayin at The Park. We had a sumptuos dinner, and also a peg of Vodka. Day ends.

On feb 2nd. the fest was supposed to formally start at 5 PM today. we collected our Kits, and thought of goin away to nearby Kolkata today, but decided otherwise. We were given maps and, like foreign tourists coming to visit India, we were following the map to all the eataries in the campus. We saw the in-campus pool, The magnificient MMM hall of residence. In the evening at 5, we assembled at Netaji auditorium for the inaugral.There was a guest lecture by R. Chidambaram( The cheif scientific advisor to the govt. of India). Then we were witness to a mesmerising laser show by Manick sorcar( Son of the legendary magician, P.C. Sorcar). We then went to the arena to see the Robtix practise. Day 1 ends.

On feb3rd. We registered for Nirmaan, and went to V! where our final presentation for Atelier. We done it well, but probably the judges thought otherwise, and decided that we deserved nothing more than a special mention. Sandeep was quite enthu to attend the worlshop on 3G technology, but we were more interested in seeing the rest of our competitors. I, vamsi and Sandeep formed a team and registered for El-Matador – A stock exchange simulation game. I and Vamsi even registered for Exemplar( A case study comp.), which eventually did not cross the prelims even. We got selected in Nirmaan. The place that enjoyed the most was the TECH-QUILA tent. There was a caption tell competition where Sandeep and Shrik won a Digit mag each. Then ther was a “Matka phod” comp. where i was the first participant. The host there blindfolded me and handed me stick with which i had to break a pot. I tried, but in vain. Nevertheless, she presented me a T-Shirt. We nade a car out of card-board, fevikwik, Rubberband( for the elastc force), etc.. and made it succesfully move for 8cms. Evening after the not-so-impressive Robo soccer, we retired to our rooms. Day 2 ends.

On feb4th. We attended the Tech-quiz and were stumped at the prelims itself by those out-of-range questions. with such damping spirits, we did not participate in the BIZ-Quiz later in the day. The quiz qas being hosted by the famous quizmaster GP “pickbrain” Balasubramanian. We registered for Eureka, but did not care to attend it. Then we attended a humorous session by R. Gopalakrishnan, a IITKGP alumnus and presently a TATA guy. Then there was the HOT presentation by Partha Sinha explaining the nittigritties of Ad-making.We then participated in the Ad maknig show, where, once again, we were not able to cross the prelims even. All through I and Vamsi were trading for stocks, in the gaps. Evening, I and Sandeep visted the Tech-Market, and joined the others at TOAT for the enthralling guest lecture by nobel Laurete Prof. Klaus von Klitzing. Man, It was very humourous, and the laurete actually took out a wine bottle explaining his inclination to it, and his plans to party in the night. Coming to Party, that night even we had a rockin party, at the Disc at the TECH-QUILA tent. It was one fabulous party, and we danced non-stop for 2hrs. I, Vamsi, Shrik and karthik won a book on Network Computing. On the whole, the day ended on a high, and v topped it by gettin completely drunk. Day3 ends.

On Feb5th. today, v did not have much to do, as all the preliminary rounds were over, and we had already collected our certi’s. We attended an engrossing Workshop on Interpersonal Communication Skills, and also participated in Tech-Trix. We then ate some parathas, and were hanging around. We participated in the Ad-mad show, where we had to sell a Bamboo stick. Vamsi, Shrik, karthik and myself participated in this, and we won the third prize comprising a coke, and a chocolate each. We all then went to the Tech market, where I bought a T-Shirt for Jatin. We then went to the hotel and checked out. We sat at the garden-side restaurant till 9. We then set out to the station. Our train, the chennai-howrah mail, was fortunately at the right time. Day4 ends. Fest ends.

we reached home on 6th, mon at about 1 in the afternoon.

On the whole it was a fabulous experince, and i am looking forward for a chance to participate in other Fests. College life is really fun!!

With this i sign off.

N-joi
BJ