Author: Bharat Jhurani

  • >Awesome Monday

    >Its been more than a month here at Delhi, and after those initial hiccups I am now completely enjoying the stint. The days are filled with learning the nitty gritties of the processes and systems in selling chocolates. And the weekends are filled with loadsa fun and frolic. The campus setting is all recreated, what with the same bunch of people staying up together – every night is a potential party night.

    Especially the past two weekends have been really awesome, and am sure its going to stay memorable for a long time to come. This post is about the awesome Monday that I had last week.

    Early in the morning I was woken up at 4AM (my gawd! Who wakes up at that time? Not even the birds!), and after getting ready into my formal attire we start off to the New Delhi railway station at about 5. The train was to departure at 6:15AM, and we reach the station well in time. After the train departs, I wonder what to do?

    Go back to malviya nagar, and start for gurgaon later? No point in this, as I would have to start as soon as I reach home. So a better option would be to get going to guragon (my office for the day, as discussed), though it is quite early to office. I take a bus to Dhaula Kuan, and then take another crowded bus from there to IFFCO chowk in gurgaon. I manage to reach gurgaon at 8 itself, while the office starts at 9:30 something.

    After hanging around, and having breakfast at a roadside eatery, and tea and smoke, at about 8:45 i enter the office to find all staring in a strange manner. It was just the maintenance staff doing the cleaning, and by their looks it was apparent they did not recognize me. When I start settling down in my boss’s cubicle a guy comes running towards me.

    “sir, kaun ho aap?” (who are you?)

    Okay, now that was pretty straight forward.

    I reply calmly, with a smile on my face, “mein yahin par kaam karta hun” ( I work here)

    Another guy comes in, and remembers serving me countless cups of tea, and thus confirms my appointment.

    After lazing around there for some time, and a visit to the bathroom I try settling down in the cubicle. Right then, I get a call from boss, who asks me to come down to rohini instead.

    Great! I check on googlemaps on my mobile, and it shows rohini being 40km away form where I am right now. It would take atleast 2hrs to reach there and that too after blowing up a considerable amount of money on travel, and a sojourn in the crowded public transport.

    Can I do something about it? No! So, well a sleep starved myself gets on into a rickshaw to get to IFFCO chowk. Now another irony here is, I don’t know the best way to reach rohini. I was initially thinking of reaching Dwarka, take a metro back to central delhi and change for the metro to rohini. Nice option it seemed.

    Luckily the shared cab I got into was going to azadpur, and my googlemaps (to which I remained hooked during the travel), showed that it is on my way to rohini. On confirmation with the driver and paying an additional 10 rupee, I could still sit in the cab. I get down at wajirpur (thank you googlemaps), and then catch an auto from there to the distributor point where I was supposed to reach.

    At the distributor point I am in for a shock – it is locked. Oh! How could I forget, this market remains closed on Mondays!

    I call up my boss again, who then asks me to come down to prashanth Vihar instead. Awesome! The map showed that to be comparatively close. I walk out from the market to the main road, and try loking for empty autos to ply me there. I could just find a rickshaw, who argues of coming only till madhubhan chowk. I was helpless, and I had to take it.

    At madhuban chowk, after crossing the huge traffic signal lights there, and the metro above, I get to the other side of the road. I am again looking for an auto or a rockshaw to ply me till my final destination (hopefully). After a wait, and walk, of about 15mins in that hot sun I finally get a rickshaw. And after asking a zillion people, and travelling randomly I finally locate one of the sales officers, and get assured. Yes, I have finally reached the required destination.

    I get a call from my friend, who announces her arrival to lucknow. Wah! I am just crisscrossing aross NCR, and within this time people have reached lucknow. The time it takes for me to office, is as good as the time taken to reach lucknow. Well, such is life!

    The destination I reached was a food court called rameshwarams. Yes, we generally have our meetings at such places, and that day was the time for mid year review. I just sit on my laptop trying to interact with the sales officers, and trying to complete the work assigned.

    After about 4 hrs there in the food court, discussing random stuff ranging from stock markets to the trip to manali, and also working in between, I get to talk to my boss at about 4.Well, the lesser I talk about the meeting the better it is.

    At about 5, after being dropped to the metro station I set out home. I reach home at about 6:30 and find my cell phone battery down. Damn! Last one minute probably and I try caling up TB (my room-mate), but before he could answer, the battery is dead. It so felt like that scene in hindi movies, where a person is dying in the lap and is uttering something very important earnestly, but before he could say the actual thing he is dead falling on the lap of the holder, mostly with the eyes open.

    Now no keys for home, TB had said he would be going to the snooker parlour. And I don’t know where it is. I have a pair of keys that Abhinav ( another of my room-mate) had given me a week back or so. I go home with a heavy laptop bag on my shoulders and hoping that the key would do the job. Nah! How could life be so simple?

    After trying hard, and even going to the terrace and having a smoke hoping that TB would be back by then I give up.

    I had to use some salesman jugaad (more about it in detail in the ensuing posts) to get through this. I could not be waiting for ever for TB. I walk down to Sharmaji (the tea stall owner), and hav a tea. I was looking for a dispenser hung somewhere with mobile chargers. They are such a common site in malls. But well, why would any pug following company set one up here in this housing locality.

    Then an awesome idea strikes me.

    “Sharmaji, aapke paas mobile ka charger hai kya?”, I shout to the tea stall owner.

    He gets all eager to help and asks his wife to check. The disappointment on his face when his wife finds one was apparent. He obviously did not want me to mess up with his things, lest I spoil them. He anyways gives the charger to me.

    Alas! Why did nokia have to change their charger specifications? This one was of a thick pin, while my mobile jock accepts the thin one.

    Now if you are still wondering why could I just not call up TB? Well, blame the mobile phones In the good olden days we would all have a small pocket diary having all the important numbers, but no more. The contacts were all in that dead phone. It seriously set me thinking, what if my mobile dies a permanent death someday. I would really land up in tough times.

    I again get this rockstar idea, trying to convince myself – “come on dude.. you are a salesman.. use salesman jugaad”

    I ask,or did it sound more like a demand “sharmaji, ek baar apna phone dena”.

    Sharmaji, who by now was relieved that I had left his charger did not know that I had more serious plans. He replies,

    “sorry sir, isme balance nahi hai.”

    Okay, I am not interested in using up your balance.

    “nahi mere paas bhi number nahi hai.. mujhe to kuch aur chaiye”, i chuckle.

    Very reluctantly he hands me over the phone, and just stands beside me. This phone really means a lot to him probably. I am sure, even a stock broker would not take his own phone so seriously.

    I start removing the battery, and sharmaji screams as soon as I open the compartment of his phone.

    “yeh kya kar rahe ho.. kharab ho jaega!”, he is visibly worried.

    “kuch nahi hoga. Aapka phone sahi salamt aapko wapas kar dunga”, I try explaining him calmly.

    Yes. The salesman jugaad has worked yet again. I call up TB from my mobile having sharmaji’s battery, and TB gets back home in 5 minutes. I can now go home in peace to open doors.

    After such a frustrating day, a person sure needs some vent out. I change into shorts and go out with puneet to CCD. After a relaxing black coffee, without sugar (no! not inspired from love aaj kal, I am addicted to this right since my 4 seasons days in vizag), it feels completely calm.

    I am ready for the next day, ofcourse after a good night’s sleep. It seems like days since I have slept.

    Thus ended an eventful Monday, after a very good weekend. Now you know where the term Monday morning blues came from

  • >Online CAT: Further Update

    >

    Okay, I am in corporate life now, and I sell chocolates for a living. My job is to ensure that chocolate are available in every nook and corner of my territory and plentiful in that. But the passion of teaching still lies within and CAT coaching is something I have been doing for sometime now, and I think it is my moral responsibility to keep my readers updated about any new happenings in this arena. Especially after it being declared that CAT is going to be online from this syear, and I am sure this has created lots of apprehensions and doubts in the minds of the aspirants. So some more dope on this –

    This is from an article on watblog about the recent update.

    We all know that CAT is about to go online from this year, and in all probability it is going to be a computer based test.

    The Common Admission Test (CAT) after recent months of speculation will finally be held Online this year. IIM has announced further details regarding Online CAT conducted from this year. CAT would no longer be a one day – one session appearance test but would now be conducted in 10 day long schedule with two test sessions in a day.

    CAT-2009 will be held during November 28, 2009 to December 7, 2009. A candidate will be given choice in terms of test date, session (morning/afternoon), and venue across thirty centers (cities) all over India, subject to availability.

    To appear for Online CAT, candidates will need to purchase scratch-vouchers from the designated bank branches, and later register online for CAT 2009. Vouchers would go on sale from 9 September 2009.

    Some more frequently asked questions about CAT 2009

    • When is the advertisement for CAT 2009 going to appear?

    CAT Advertisement will appear in leading newspapers on Sunday, 30 August 2009.

    • Once  the   advertisement   appears, is   one   expected  to   buy  CAT   bulletin   from  designated banks?

    No. One does not have to buy a bulky CAT bulletin. We want to go paperless. A prospective candidate buys a scratch-voucher from the designated bank branches, and, later registers online for CAT 2009.

    • When does the sale of voucher start and end?

    Sale of vouchers starts on Wednesday, 9 September 2009 at designated bank branches and their associate outlets. The sale ends on Thursday, 1 October 2009.

    • When and how do I register for CAT 2009 after buying the voucher?

    Online registration for CAT 2009 will also begin on Wednesday, 9 September 2009 and end on Thursday, 1 October 2009.Instructions on access to online registration will be given in the voucher, and, detailed registration instructions will be on the CAT website.

    • When will CAT be held and can I choose a test date?

    CAT  will  be   held  during the  period Saturday, 28 November 2009  – Monday, 7 December   20009. Yes, you can choose a test date, session (morning/afternoon), and venue across thirty centers (cities) all over India, subject to availability.

    • Can you give more details on taking test in a CBT format?

    Starting  Sunday, 30 August 2009, CAT website – www.catiim.in will provide all the details.

    A more comprehensive list of Online sites to help candidates are linked here.

    So all the best towards your preparation for CAT, which I am sure is going on in full swing by now.

    Till then, have a look at this article in TOI, and relish.

    Booze flowed free for over 100 villagers, including women, who partied hard after a truck carrying foreign liquor overturned on NH-5 in Jaipur district.

    Ah! Now when is such going to happen in Delhi. But what the heck? Alcochol is anyways dirt cheap in this union territory. Cheers Guys!

  • >Mallu agzent

    >HI All, long time. Well, have joined office and have been travelling to places the last few weeks. Presently have been posted in Delhi for my sales officer stint for three months. (in detail this weekend!!)

    Landed in Mumbai first, and then set out to some hill resort near Pune. Was back to Mumbai for a couple of days, and then packed off to Cochin for two days. Back to Mumbai, just to catch the next morning flight to Chandigarh. After an amazing week in Chandigarh and its adjoining places, am here back in Mumbai.

    The last couple of weeks were filled with immense learnings, and loadsa fun. As they say it here, am presently in the honeymoon period of my job. Here I got to interact to a lot of people, industry veterans, Big time marketers and my colleagues – the purple stars.

    Access to internet has been minimal due to frequent travelling, and so am starved of any time to blog. Any odd access to a computer with internet connectivity is just spent on accessing mails. So here, I am posting a long time back received mail on mallu accent. The recent trip to cochin re affirmed this mail, and the agzent.

    1) What is the tax on a Mallu’s income called?
    IngumDax

    2) Where did the Malayali study?
    In the ko-liage.

    3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
    He is very bissi.

    4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
    To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

    5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
    To yearn meney.

    6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
    He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

    7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
    MOON – Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

    8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
    Yem Bee Yae.

    9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
    He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

    10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
    An Oto

    11) Where does he pray?
    In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

    12) Who is Bruce Lee’s best friend ?
    A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

    13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
    Kerala.

    14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
    Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

    15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
    He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say ‘KEEP QUWAIT’ ‘KEEP QUWAIT’

    16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
    ” Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where “

    17) Why aren’t Mals included in hockey and football teams ?
    Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.

    I am sure you had fun reading this, it is an even better experience reading it along with munching on Benana Chibs.

    Now I hope no mallu comes over with a bottle of kokanet oil to slam over!! No offence indended guys!!

  • >Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea

    >

    I am about to join corporate next week, and here I come across this picture which aptly defines the current job scenario. The placement scene seen across campuses back then in march said it all. Just about a year back, these very companies were thronging the campus for a slot, and this time over even after a lot of cajoling and sweet talk they relented – Hiring on freeze.

    Forget hiring, many of the companies are actually firing away their employees, and some ‘virtualizing’ them ala Mahindra Satyam.

    This picture, got on a mail forward, very aptly describes the current market scenario. One can’t be like the man jumping off, due to the huge liabilities attached and a very remote chance of a job.

    Also, it is getting tougher with every passing day to continue in the same job with cost cuts, salary cuts, virtualized and all. It is like being in the position of the fish.

    Why am I ranting on the negatives of the job market just before joining a job? Nah! I am all charged and decked up for the new role. This holiday has really been long, and now I want to work.!!

  • >‘Online’ CAT, and nothing else!!

    >

    I have been coaching for CAT for the last few months, and think it is my duty to keep my students updated about any new developments in this arena. More so this year, with the CAT going online, and many of you having loadsa questions and queries.

    Here I bumped into this article, where prometric – the body organizing CAT this year spoke to an online CAT portal and clears lots of doubts.

    Prometric has for the first time revealed that computer-based CAT 2009 will actually allow test takers to “scroll back and forth” during the exam. This confirmation has a lot of significance for the thousands of MBA aspirants taking the test this year.

    This implies that CAT 2009 will not be a ‘computer-adaptive’ test, but will only be a ‘computer-based’ test. A computer-adaptive test offers a new question based on answer to the previous question.

    Thus, one thing for clear, answer to a question will not matter in answering the next question. So it is just like answering CAT like last year, the only difference being the new medium of a computer, rather than the traditional paper and pencil.

    Some more interesting insights from the interview are like the information that the total contract value for conducting the exam is a whopping 40 million USD (a cool 200 crore rupees!!). Also, Prometric is assuming responsibility for all aspects of the CAT computer-based test, including item authoring, test development, test administration, scoring and reporting services. Prometric will add resources, including dedicated test development and support staff in India for handling the project in a better manner.

    About the security in administering the test, prometric ensures that enough measures are being taken for ensuring strict security. All test centres hosting CAT 2009 will employ Prometric’s identity management (biometric) solution, digital image capture of all candidates and digital video recording of all testing activities

    Regarding the questions, the pattern, comparison of the CAT with GMAT, and other such ‘confidential’ issues, prometric remained silent. Also, it preferred to remain mum on the amount to be charged by the IIMs for the test.

    Thus, aspirants who have been thinking of tweaking their strategies, and waiting for the notification has this clear – Computer exam, that is the only change. Nothing more!!!